It just feels so natural to me, like i have been on a 2 year vacation and am now back home. I got on the airplane leaving for Cali expecting to get there and feel like a vacation, out of place; after all i haven't been to Cali for a year. Now that i am here it feels like home again, like i am where i am supposed to be. I know that God has kept a longing for here in my heart to keep me reminded that i am someday supposed to be here ministering to the youth, but i didn't think that i would feel so at home. The reason i was expecting to feel out of place is because i am beginning to see Hawaii as my home. I feel attached to what and, more importantly, who i have there. This last semester i made such strong connections that even though it was only 13 weeks of getting to know each other it felt like years. I have every night half expected to get a text from Landon or Mel saying they are downstairs and lets go do something. I have been blessed with such a strong community that makes me feel as if i can actually be at home in HI. Then i show up in the AC and see Jerry and it feels as if i could be, and am, at home here. I want to go over to his house every night like i used to and chill with him his wife and my God-Children.
I am supposed to be done with school soon and move back like my plan going into this said, but with so many things changing in my life its getting harder and harder to see that as a reality in my mind. God has revealed to me that i am supposed to be in HI for longer than i had initially thought, and i am still dealing with that fact. I want to be here in the AC so badly, but at the same time i want to be back in HI with my new community. I guess its a battle of following God's will and realizing that even though i am barely in the AC and spend most of my life in my HI community that i dont need to be divided as i am. I can have 2 homes, i can hold in my heart longing for Amador and a longing for HI.
I guess 2 is better than one.
